Laptop O Laptop!!

I am a friendly guy.

Darn friendly!

But if you happened to asked me when is the closest i have gone to lose my temper and my common sense altogether?

It is when i signed up for a particular super f**king ridiculous slow broadband package. Seriously, i almost flushed it down the toilet bowl for real, if not because of the RM500 i need to pay for losing the stick.

Now that i can bragged about my Unifi package. Yes it is expensive, more expensive than my astro package. But honestly i am enjoying every moment with it. From free land calls and superfast downloading. Seriously, i am a happier person who are paying a higher monthly payment.

Then another problem came.

I think god must be toying with me around a bit. HE assumed that i have a bank account figure which is "about there" to Tan Sri Lim Kok Thye.

My stupid Dell laptop started to give problems.

Halfway through my work or porn surfing, it just started to display this kind of message.

Then, this is how i look like halfway through working (and wanking - i am joking) in front of the monitor.

How can the laptop just freezed just like that? Bill Gates should have think of a way that computers shall give warning before it shut down or freezed!!

Well, buying a new laptop going to be costly. I have been surveying around wondering which one to buy. But as a smart consumer, i swear i would only change the laptop when it became "totally dead" and can't restart on my command.

That would be it.

Someone told me before putting you laptop in the fridge can enhance the performance of the laptop.

Is that true?

Cameron Highland

Friends used to asked me;

"Have you been to Cameron Highland?"

"No i have not"

That's exactly the look i will be receiving.

Honestly, never it has crossed my mind that i should/compulsary/my duty to visit Cameron Highland even if i have stayed in peninsular for more than ten years right?

Anyway after a non-stop bugging from my girlfriend, i decided to give it a shot. Since it has been a while we have not travel together and our next trip to Autralia is still one year away.

Friends used to tell me that, when you set your feet in cameron, you need to see this farm, that farm, eat this and try that.

Notwithstanding their advice, the first activity we did after we reached?

Mastering the art of pool at the hotel lobby.

Together with the "I AM SO BORING LETS GO TO CAMERON AND HAVE SOME FUN" girlfriend.

But of course it is due to the fact that we arrived so late in the evening that we have nowhere to go. The temperature was so low that i am freezing my balls altogether, and we did not plan to go anywhere else apart from watching movies on ipad in the hotel, as it was too freaking cold outside.

However, there are couple of things that you can do when you are in Cameron, apart from shopping la of course.

The steamboat session.

Well, you can never choose a better place to have steamboat. With the cold weather, a perfect boiled soup just taste even better. There will be a lot of place for steamboat on offer, and the prices are just almost the same at RM 18++ per head.

Second, the Boh Tea farm.

Honestly, this is the only place that i am giving an ars* to visit during the entire trip. (Really).

Anxious to check out the place of origin of the Boh Tea i am drinking everyday, we did a drive up to the farm the next morning.

Here in Boh farm, basically you can have a drink while enjoying the cooling breeze gently brushing on your face. There are some shops where you can buy some souveneirs or teas for your families and friends. (Just in case they have never visited Cameron too).

This is my favourite shot from the trip.

I became the "New Hope" for Orang Utan!

Behind every great scenery, there bound to be one place where it ruined every impressions.

Didn't Boh Farm has a "5S" systems in place?

Turn out the Boh farm is the only farm/first farm/last farm that me and my girlfriend visited.

That is really the only time that i saw her smiling happily after the end of the trip saying "Yeah, finally we can go back!"

Not another 3 hours journey driving back to KL. If you asked me if i enjoyed my trip this time?

Quote from my girlfriend. "I will not come back next time, even if someone offered to drive me up i would have to think twice".

To me? Apart from the cool and nice weather. Nothing else does matter to me.

That answer your question isn't it?

祝我生日快乐

21st December, 2011 is just just less that 48 hours away.
The Maya prediction on the very same day of the year 2012, it is the end of the world.
So it also means that this year i still can hope for my birthday cake.

Instead of the lame "Happy birthday to you...Happy birthday to you" kind of song, somebody please sing this song for me.

祝我生日快乐




Enjoy.

Presents, anyone?

Marriage & Divorce (Rated 18 SX)

If one day anyone asked me. "Is it wise to get divorce with a wife who has been a real b**tch all this while, and then get married with another girl who you think can offer you a better bl**job?"

"Yes" is definitely my answer.

It may sounds a little but absurd to some of you out there, but i may not be wrong you know.

It is like a case of constipation.

You just need to get rid of it.

Well, the example given as above is just a layman term given for my marriage to the so called "bitch" for 2 years.

This is it. The "Divorce Letter".

With Maxis lah! I am still single!

It is weird that on the day i went to maxis and terminate my broadband services, not one of the staff care to ask me why.

Maybe some of the maxis staffs has been my loyal FB/Blog/Twitter follower all this while. For sure they have read my "extravagant status" on how poor the broadband service was.

If you notice in the termination form in the picture, the "reasons" for returning the modem (Network issue) was filled in by the maxis staff themselves. WITHOUT MY PERMISSION.

People left the lawyer's office in tears after divorce. I left the Maxis center in giggles.

It is because my new "wife" has been waiting me at home!

Let me proudly introduce you to "you-need-fight?"

(Unifi).


Well it may cost me a new football boots every months, but after f**king/surfing with it for 2 minutes, i knew i have got the right choice.

A 5 minutes porn within approx 5 minutes? Now that's when the boys say "c000oool" right?

The difference between surfing on Maxis BB and Unifi? It is the difference between getting "blow-jobbed" by William Hung and Jessica Alba!

Take that!!

Guitar Lesson

I was away for quite some times.
Maybe some of you are curious on my wherebouts.

Well, i have been attending the guitar class recently.



Yes you heard me.

A GUITAR class!

The music school i attended is located just 5 minutes away from my office. When i told my friends or colleagues that i am attending one of those guitar lessons, i will either get:

1. A middle finger.
2. A "what the FFFF are you thinking??"
3. "which little girl you want to cheat by playing guitar?"
4. "Too much money duno where to spend ar?"

Ma de.

All i wanted is to learn at least one music instrument in my whole life okie?

I can't learn piano as a piano will definitely cost me a damn fortune.

I can't learn drumming just in case i got murdered by my neighbour.

I can't learn violin just in case other people will start to treat me as their "gay" friend.

So the easiet and safest way out? Guitar.

Cheap, light-weight and silent. I can't ask for more.

I am going to have a class every week, one hour per session.

So now officially my budget is going to be slashed a further RM200 every month.

So that i can play this next time with my guitar ---> Your Body is my wonderland, by John Mayer.

Dear Friend...

I received an sms early in the morning from her';

"My dad just passed away this morning".

Damn.

Just about a week ago she was so excited to receive her ipad which she bought online, which is supposed to be given as a birthday present to her dad. To a point where she almost skipped her lunch just to take care of the new gadget from being stolen by someone else.

Or in another term: Kia-si.

But the present never made it to the new owner.

When i got the news my immediate reaction was "Shit".

Well, we used to "mencaci" each other as if that's our common hobby and interests during free time. Apart from collecting stamps i guess.

We are close, but not intimate. We fought almost everytime, but never to the extent of killing each other. We share the same passion of travelling, but never travelled together-gether.

I think, i should call her my shadow BFF.

Well to my "shadow bff", in the case you have read this, rest assured that for the first few days when you broke out the news i can hardly find the right words to console you.

But rest assured that everything will be fine, as the old saying goes: "There's always rainbow after the rain".

Right?

God took someone away from you, and give you someone else as return. (if you know what i mean).

So, cheer up.

I will always be around, just an extn away.

:P

Impossible is Nothing

I have blogged about almost everything in my life.

But recently i came to realized that i left out a story which, i can consider it as one of the most important moment in my entire life.

(This is going to be a lengthy one, so you may want to warm up your coffee)

You see, i am not coming from a mega rich family. But me and my siblings have always had enough for our foods, education and occasionally, a trip overseas. I have witnessed the ups and down that my parent has went through in order to raise all four of us, from a humble beginning as the government servant to running their own business as of today. I am proud of them. We are not rich, but we are okay.

As a kid, we are taught and educated in a way that we don't have to worry to spend on foods.

But if we want something "luxury" rather than a "need", we are taught to earn the money by ourselves. RM2 for washing cars, RM1 for feeding the dogs, stuffs like that.

But i do admit that i am quite a spoilt child. During the university days, i was given enough pocket money to survive and on top of that, a credit card. (Which is amazing that i am so discipline that i never blew out the card limit).

It was during the third year around i started to ignore the long semester break and instead of going back home, i looked for a part time job as a photo studio assistant cum photographer in one of those shopping malls. I have had the same experience working for my uncle when i finished my SPM, and i guess it will be much better compared to standing for all day long in the supermarket and arranging the food cans for all day long.

Well, "photographer"---it sounds cool enough and on top of that i could always learn something new, like developing the films and pictures, taking photos of babies and adult. Well, until today my employer at that time still believe my stories when i told her that i have quit studies and just want to start earning money.

I worked for 3 months and in the end, went back to university as the semester starts. Well if she read this, i just want to say I am sorry, you guys are the best and has always be there for me. (Anyway it doesnt matter anymore as they closes down the business 1 year after i have left).

Well back to the story.

To me, working and get paid is one thing. My principle is that i must be able to learn something out from it. And it has always being my motivation ever since.

I think it would be interesting to look at some of my part time job i have done before.

1. Pegawai "Koperasi" in Secondary school. (Yeah we get paid)

2. Temporary teacher in a primary school. (I got hired by my SPM result for my Bahasa Melayu, which i got an A1. Yeah, my balls is expanding right now).

3. Photographer cum studio assistance.

4. Event Management Crew members a.k.a "Kuli" / "Buruh Kasar".

But nothing gonna beat this one. You see, when you are in your study time, part time job is merely just for you to pass time. But when i came out from work, my instinct told me that engineering is not really something i could get a lot of money out of it.

But what should i do?

So, the idea of becoming a part time property agent/negotiator strucked my mind this one night when i was on my bed. It is like a Deja-Vu. It is like an Eureka.

I think i can make money out of it, no doubt. And i have a passion to learn and to know more about property market and its culture, why not? If i can learn something and making cash and bucks out of it, why not?

It is not like the guy who tried to "conned" me into becoming a part time financial planner/insurance agent when i was in university. He used to drive by and pick me up in his sleek Mercedes and show me (us) his photos of his Europe vacations and telling me that if i join his "Million agency", i will become a millionaire, smoking big fat Cuban Cigars and drive German cars in no time!

I didn't fell on that.

Without thinking twice, i immediately jump into the property line. Fuck the multilevel marketing. Screw the so called organic foods. Adios on the insurance marketing. This is something, which we all knew , 80% of your clients would not hang up their phone on you from the moment you say "hello, i am xxxx and i want to introduce you about our medical plan...." Click. Gone.

The only doubt i have is that, can i really do it? No? If others can do it, why not me?

So, after couple of months i have joined i managed to close my first deal. It is not a big amount nevertheless. Just about only a fraction of my monthly salary as an engineer. But it is the sense of accomplishment that has actually overwhelmed me with joy and prideness.

To be honest i would have given up hope on the moment that the father of the vendor trying to intervene on the transactions. We have a few words, and i still remember telling him i would rather give away all my efforts and hardworks and abort the transaction if he want to do it HIS way. Well, i held on to my principle that i should do my OWN way and managed to convinced him after a few rounds of discussions.

So, after a few rounds of negotiations, we completed the deal. I still remembered the final deal was completed via the Skype messenger (Since the vendor is in Australia).

I was so closed to ruining it. And the deal would not be completed if:

1. Have i just walk away from the hassles of negotiating with the father of the vendor.

2. Have i not make it a point to call back the buyer apologizing and convincing them when they told me that they are having difficulty arranging the viewing time slots with me.

3. Have i not drove all the way to Mont Kiara to help fix the network setup a day before for my vendor's computer. (As the teleconference was made via skype messenger in his home).

Indeed it was one of the most memorable moment of my life when i received my cheque. Well, most important thing is, i have managed to learn something out from it. The experience, the way we need to deal with people and how to face the crisis when it happens.

Today, the father of the vendor remained a very close friend to me, although we have never met ever since the beginning until today. We are still waiting for a day to come out and have "Bah Kut Teh" together.

Well i am still working on for the next one, one little step at a time.

When you have passion for something you are working on, i guess it is called "The Adidas way".

Impossible is nothing.

Steve Job arrived..

When it comes to online shopping, i am quite skeptical about it.
Reason?

1. I wouldn't have any information on the seller just in case they cheat me of my money, and i will be grabbing my own balls by then.

2. I always worried that the "unknown" person who might use my credit card to purchase some kind of internet porn related stuffs.

However, recently i made an exception due to the fact that i am a very "impatient" person. I came to know that Steve Job's autobiography has been released, and the only way is to get it is only via Amazon.com since i couldn't wait for another 2 more months. (Or so i was informed).

So, i signed up for an account from Amazon.com, and there she is! I found the book.
Key in my credit card number without a glitch and purchased it. Piece of cake, compared to a the pain in the arse of booking Air-Asia zero fare tickets.

Amazon.com has provided the buyer with a parcel-tracking facilities. My book was expected to arrive on Nov 21. But nothing came through. I started to think of all kind of possibilities on why the item is not arriving.

1. Maybe the custom officer wanted to read it first before releasing it to me.
2. Maybe the ship delivering my parcel has sunk.
3. Maybe my money has gone to the Al-Qaeda terrorist network funding.

But, another week has passed. It arrived finally.

Safe and sound.

The image of Steve Job looking at me upon opening up the parcel was just..brilliant.

As if he is looking into my eyes and says: "You like my beard, don't ya little boy?"

Well, it is worthwhile for all the waitings. But not when a friend rang me up and told me.

"Hung Yew, you know what? The Steve Job's book has been displayed on TESCO rack few weeks ago. And the price in Popular bookstore is much cheaper if you have the member card compared to yours via Amazon. com".

What the F??? TESCO!!!

How do i feel?

You tell me about it lo!!

Kena Con by Reader's Digest

While waiting for my girlfriend i stopped by at the Popular bookstore to do some readings.

It has been a habit ever since, that if i have nothing to do to occupy myself while waiting for someone, it is best doing it in a bookstore.

The popular bookstore does not offer any interesting books for me on that particular day. Then i saw this Reader's Digest for the December 2011 issue. The title just managed to grab my attention.

"The science behind emptying your wallet...and how to resist it!"

That sounds cool. So i bought it home and immediately start to read on that particular subject.

Could science actually help us on saving money from shoppings?

Then again, the conclusion for this subject is kind of....ridiculous.

It says:

"Leave your wallet at home".

F**k my life.

And oh yeah, i am a moron who had just spent RM15 for this piece of shit.

The Unexpected

My dad flew to KL a couple of days ago to attend a friend's wedding.

Since he and his friend planned to go up to Genting, we decided to meet there on Saturday night to have dinner.


So if go Genting only means one thing lo. Gambling is primary and dinner is secondary.

Go to genting but not visiting the casino?

To us it is like visiting a gorgeous and lonely woman's home and ended up playing monopoly.

So, there we go. We have the cash, we wore our long pants and smart suits, enter the casino lounge only to be stopped by the security guards.

The very first few thing that came to my mind:

1. I need to surrender my camera phone OR

2. It is just a random body check, just in case i carried a bomb with me OR

3. I looked like a Muslim who pray 5 times a day OR

4. I have been blacklisted by Genting because i have lose so much that the Casino is sympathy with me.

But i am wrong.



Guard: "Can i have a look at your ic please?"

Me: "*&&^%%$, bang, i am almost 30 yrs old already ler!!"

Guard: "Umur you berapa??Macam bawah umur saja?"

So needless to say, my dad was laughing so hard.

So hard that as if i have the face of a 30 yr old and a body of 5 yrs old.

I don't blame him.

But whether it is good or bad, i wouldn't know.

Unexpected things happened once in a while, like this moment.

Max-Sucks

For the past two years, it has been a real pain in the arse...

by subscribing to Maxis boradband plan. (Above picture shows 0.00 kbps for downloading and uploading speed).

It is ridiculous and totally unacceptable matter of fact for being one of the biggest Telco in Malaysia.

(Sorry the picture is not really clear due to some technical problem, i will try to illustrate as well as i can).

Here it says "Go online at speed 15 times faster than dial up"??
Yeah right, my dial up can kick their ass and let them smell my smoke.

Something like this.
Smell it.

As an engineer myself, i understand that there are actually few major factors that normally effect the speed of the wireless internet like your locations, weathers, and etc.

But as a consumer, i don't give a furk.

When i signed up two years ago, Maxis staffs used to tell me that "our coverage is everywhere and so don't you worry".

Yeah right! Of course i don't have to worry when:

1. I still have to pay RM 88 per month iregardless of the speed of the internet. For one page to finish loading, i basically need to go toilet to take a pee, wash my plates and collect my laundry before i can register into Facebook. (At least 50% of the time!!)



2. I have a one year commitment to Maxis, and in case i wish to terminate the service within a year, i need to pay Maxis the Penalty fee. (It is like i still have to pay the doctor even when they mistakenly amputated my hand when i complained about my headache and flu).



3. I called to the service center trying to find solution on the issue, all they said was "Technicians are still looking into this matter" for the 17th times. "Is there anything else i can assist you?" - I want my money back, can?



This is a really dissapointing situation whereby i have been a loyal customer to Maxis for my entire life, ever since i know how to use a mobile phone.



But the experience of using a Maxis broadband almost cost me dearly, when i threw my laptop once (luckily it fell on the sofa) when obviously the problem does not lie with the laptop itself.

So, i have decided. Terminate Maxis, change to Unifi.

Even it is more expensive, i don't give a furk also.

Since i can make free calls back to my home in Sarawak.

And i can download high quality porn within an hour.

An Engineer who doesn't want to become an Engineer

There was this one evening my mum called me on my mobile.


"Seems like you little brother's SPM result does not qualify him for the engineering degree course. What should we do?"


My immediate reply was:


"Kill him".





Luckily tak jadi macam sin-chan.

In today's world, it seems like a common thing that a proud parent will always wanted their child to study and eventually ended up working in a technology-related field. Anything differs, is considered as failure.



As a freshman in university, it is common that engineering students seems to be able to attract more attention compared to those from business or admin sector. Tell the girls you are going for the calculus class, you will ended up with dates. Tell them you are going for business ethnic class, prepare for a gay-boy group discussion instead.


Well what i say is in general and it is based on my experience. It doesn't mean it is the same perception for everyone, but mostly, yes. I once changed my course from IT into Electrical Engineering course and ended up every ex-coursemate labelled me as "traitors" and "Show off" for being carrying a "Electromechanical devices" books instead of "C Programming".

But none of them knew how heartbreaking i was when i got my first ever "0" (zero) marks in my first ever calculus quiz. (The lecturer told me i got the right answer by using the wrong method, that is really bullshit man).

Ok back to the topic.

Well now that i am an engineer myself, the real thing isn't "taste" anywhere like the thing that we "think" it should be. In the early 80s' and 90s' engineers are making handsome sum of money. Back to reality, the one who stay in big bungalows and driving big fat German cars are those people who are in business sector, insurance, property market, to name a few.

So, the main question is, if the real motive of the parents is that they wanted their kid to get a steady job and earning a handsome salary in their job, why it has to be engineering? It is not end of the world when my brother failed to get into engineering course. It will only be disaster if my brother tell me that he has no direction in his career path.

If he want to become an engineer, let him be!

If he want to become a singer, don't worry!

If he want to become a teacher, go ahead!

If he want to become a gigolo, of course cannot lah!

Too often at times, the engineers who spent lots of effort and time into a certain project was not rewarded as they should be getting. Take an example, everyone wants a piece of Steve Jobs autobiography, mourned on the losses of the genius, without realizing that they forgotten about one of his main right hand man - the engineer, Steve Wozniak. It is the people who have done the presentation receive the fame, but the one behind the scene remained as mystery.

You look at KLCC, you think about Petronas but not Cesar Pelli, the architect.

When you look at your phone, you remembered maxis, celcom or digi, but not Alexandre-G. the Bell.

When you look at Air Asia, you remembered Tony Fernandes, but not the Wright brothers.

To conclude, in the ideal world, when you are able to wire up a microwave oven all by yourself does not actually guarantee success on your behalf. Even if you do not have a university degree, it is not going to be the "Oh my Motherf*&^king god! I am gonna get so screwed!"

Some people even said, it is even worst if you became a writer. Because writers write nonsense in their free time and got peanuts or even nothing in return. But what if the writer himself is the engineer, a part time property negotiator, and a part time writer?

I will leave it for you to judge.

Last but not least, before a friend of mine passed away he told me this.

"Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.”

Rest in peace, my friend. May god always be with you.

2805%

LATEST NEWS:

"The Auditor-General 2010 Report said the department paid 2,805% more or RM56,350 for a night vision marine binocular which has an estimated market price of RM1,940."




Sounds like someone is doing their job :)

Continue reading...

"No corruption was involved in the Marine Department's exorbitant purchase of two night vision binoculars, said the Malaysian Anti-Corruption Commission"

What the furk?

RM56,350 WORRR!!!

It is like what? You can actually buy a Myvi car and all we get is the freaking binocular???

The best thing is.

"MACC deputy commissioner, said the department was found to have ignored a Treasury order by not conducting a market survey to find out the actual price of the equipment."

Now i understand.

The government think we, the Malaysian, has not evolve and posses a human brain just yet.

I think it is all common sense right?

When you are buying something everyday, in supermarket, you compared the price apple to apple.

Lets say if you see a pack of maggie mee of fives, cost you at RM 95.37 (approx 2800%) more than the normal price at RM3.40, wouldn't you start to question about the intergrity fo the supermarket?

It is all common sense right?

It is not because of the "ignorance of the treasury order by not conducting the market survey".

It is the principle of "Jum, mari makan sama sama..."

You can blacklist all the vendor you want. But if is is purchased at the agreed price, it should not be the problem on the vendor, it is the purchaser's responsibility to buy something with proper judgement especially when they are using the income tax money from the rakyat.

I dun know what MACC is thinking, but please, you guys are not really convincing.

My balls are getting bigger...

When i started out this blog, it is purely just for the fun side out of it.

People told me one of the easiest way to make money is via blog advertising such as Google Adsense and well, as you can see on my blog right now is from Nuffnang.

My blog reader has since grew from 2 readers, which is me and my dog, to now average 20 person/day and i am proud to say that i am earning quite well, about RM 2.60 since the last 1 year plus.

Why the hell you are laughing?

But recently, i think my pair of balls just grew bigger. It is always flattering for me when i get feedback from my readers. I feel happy when after a long hard day at work, people log on to their internet and read my blog just to have a laugh, or passing their time.

I am not a big joker like Kenny Sia, but i think my blog is still capable to accomodate your free time while you take a "poo poo" in your toilet.

As why my pair of balls is growing bigger...This is why.

No no, i am not in the running to win this "Asia Pacific Blog Awards". No one voted for me anyway.

But who say you can't nominate yourself?

Under the "Hidden Gem" category.

Ma de.

Why look at me liddattt??

If i won, i'll put my balls on a bbq set.

You hear me.

Air Asia's staffs, at least 2 of them are losers.

Whenever i overheard people complaining about Air Asia on their crowded airport, or cramped seating, i will tell them:

"You are buying a char kueh tew from a stall, and you are now expecting the stall owner's daughter gonna hump you right away?"

Don't be so cheap.

A lot of people has forgotten the fact that Air Asia is only a budget-airline, although at the very first glance, their air plane is far newer compared to the fleets of Malaysian Airlines.

You get what you pay for.

You don't go into a brothel, pay RM30, and get this type of pretty chick at your service.


Take this instead.


Nah!!! (If you still think you deserve better, you are cheap).

As the matter of fact, frankly i don't mind Air Asia cramped seats.

I don't mind waiting in a over-crowded boarding room as long as the air conditioner is working all-right.

I don't even care when my online booking of Pak Nasser's Nasi lemak turn out looks like something that is no better compared to a cow's dung. (At least it is delicious).


But for today, i want to kom-plen.


Namewee style.
No i am not comparing the Nasi lemak 2.0 with pak nasser's one.

On a recent working trip to Miri and Brunei, due to timing and logistic issues, we have to settle for Air Asia instead of our company standard airliners which is MAS.

Like usual, airport is overcrowded. Me and my another colleague proceed to the Kiosk for self-check in. Stood beside the kiosk machine (or so we thought) was a Air Asia staff, a girl who was busy with a few passengers. at that time.

During our turn, as a very perfect and polite gentleman, i greeted her.

"Good afternoon. I want to do self check in".

You won't believe what happened next. (So do i).

"THIS IS THE KIOSK FOR IPHONE AND IPAD CHECK IN COUNTER! YOU DUNNO HOW TO READ MER??"

WTF??? Did i just grabbed your boobs while greeting you???

Ok, let's get things straight.

1. For one, did i say i am not checking in using my iphone or just well, you know, only with my itinerary?

2. For two, even if i have gone to the wrong kiosk, just point me to the right direction. If not, there will be no point putting you beside these kiosk, i would rather put a big iphone or ipad signage beside these kiosk.

3. For three, suddenly i felt like i am coming back home to my mum as a 7 yrs old.

"2 x3 is SIX, SIX SIX, not EIGHT!!! Like that also you DUNNO mer??"

Well, anyway. Luckily is my company pay for the trip. If i pay, i think i will just slam-dunked her into the nearest luggage drop in counter.

But f-it. Maybe her boyfriend just slept with a cute Air Asia stewardess last night and caught him red handed.

I almost forgotten about this issue, until the second day, when i am checking in for the late night return flight from Miri.

This one lagi cia-lat.

Same scenario. During check in, but this time is a guy.

"Good evening sir, check in please".

"Have you done the self check in?"

"No, cos i misplaced my itinerary".

I swear to god. His face at that time, is like...

like he is having a broomstrick stucked right through his arse. Without saying a word, he gave me a slip with the booking number, and shoo-ing me away to the kiosk to proceed with the check in.

Suddenly one particular song came right through my head.

"You said it best, when you say noooothing at all~~~" Ronan Keating.

Well, for that particular trip, i am a real angry passenger/client.

Before i end this post, still i want to give thumbs up and credit to the Air Asia staffs who has been (most of the time) brilliant towards their customers.

The one who sang birthday song to my mum on the plane.
The one who helped finding back my friend's missing handphone on the plane.

But there'll always be one or two "creatures" out there who are just, destined to "pollute" the good name and credibility of the Air Asia.

People don't always remember good things about you.

And bad things will remain forever. That's human.

Sack those two staffs.

Or put them into angry bird costume, at least kids love them.

Thank you very much.

The "Sexy Fried Rice"

Was chatting with a friend (a girl) of mine one day.

"What did you like about him actually?"

"He can cook Murtabak, Ayam masak kicap and so and so, how sexy is that?"

Ma de.

All this while I thought only guy who wear a bra and does cooking at the same time, well, is classified as sexy.

I can cook, but i admit i am pretty much an amateur la.

But upon listening to her "Man looks so sexy when they can cook" theory, i decided to give it a try.

One of the easiet dish - Fried Rice.

Trial #1.

Rice tasted like rocks, too salty, unable to swallow.

Give it to dogs..

Ni-ah-mey...dog also tak kasi muka.

Presentation? I didn't put a photo here. Be your own judge.

Action plan? Find a recipe in the internet.

Patutla, using the wrong sauce to fry it. How stupid.

Ok, Trial No.2.

Add a bit more eggs, sausages, oyster sauce. Don't forget the salt and the ajinomoto.

Result?

Perfecto!

Not too salty, nice aroma, gulped it down like a crocodile.

I am not boasting. But hey, i can cook!

I called it as "The sexy fried rice".

Wait.

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Am i sexy now?

Eye Opener in Clark, Phillipines

Heck! i have blogged before on my trip to Phuket, Bali, Singapore, and Vietnam.

Only recently i remembered that i totally forgot about the Phillipines!

i have been to Phillipines twice, once to Cebu, and once to Clark, when i am an angel of 17 yrs old and the daredevil of 29 years old respectively.

You see, many people came back from their trip and started to post those "goody-two-shoes" or "Yes-i-have-visited-the-Taipei-IOI" kind of photos.

Like my little brother here.

Now, let the master present you with the real deal.

This picture was taken at the Fontana Casino and Resort, Clark, Phillipines.

This is the place we stayed for a week.

Also a place where we basically gambled our arse off! For your record, the casino is opened 24 hours a day.

We were walking into it as late as 4am after a heavy late night booze and gambled until the wee hours in the morning.

Well it is good that my pants is still intacted after the session. I didn't lose that much as i am not the huge-big-balls-i-am-gonna-bet-my-all-Feb-of-salary kind of person.

Booze is ridiculously cheap, and i drank it like fish.

Before i realized, i turned into a fish - a dead one, with my brother happily clicking his camera away and put it in his facebook. Look like batman isn't it?

Next, a place i called the "Sin City" - Angeles. If you did not visit this area when you are in Clark, you might as well bang your head against the wall and immerse it into the toilet bowl.

Every pub and discos here is well equipped with those "mama-san", which according to our casino driver-cum tour guide, can help you bring your "dream girl" home that night from as low as 1500 Pesos (Eq to RM 140 ++) PER NIGHT!

How cool is that?

Remember, you see this real life photo from hungyew09.blogspot.com.

The purple lighting reflected on the body of the girls are those "laser guns" for the customer to choose their "dream girl" for that night.

Not to mentioned that you need to bring some locals to provide you a tour within this places. In the spam of one hour, we saw people throwing money from the 2nd floor of the discos whenever a bell in the middle of the dance floor is ringing. (It is part of the tradition, the money, which will be collected by the staffs will be given to the girls as tips) .

I think i threw a 500 pesos (Approx RM5) and my cousin was going ballistics "what the fARk are YOU Doing!!!"

As cool as i like, i replied, "throwing money lor".

At another discos, there will be bunch of girls performing the dance routine while waiting to be selected.

At least better than the welcoming dinner lo, where i have to watch a bunch of uncles and aunties from my hometown (They have a dancing class group) performing their "I am a waiter who carry your tray of drinks" kind of dance.

This kind of dance move should be banned officially by the government of the Phillipines and Malaysia! No wonder i saw my sis and my bro covering their faces in embarrasment.

To sum it up, the trip is obviously, an eye-opener for me.

Now is people asking me if Clark is happening, i just have to sum it up this way.

I WANT TO GO BACK ONCE MORE !!!

But just in case you are planning your for sightseeing and honeymoon, find somewhere else. Ok?