Let's watch over me

No, she is not my girlfriend.



 

In May last year, this pretty internet marketer encountered a close shave with a couple of rapists when she was nearly abducted from the car park of The Curve shopping mall here.

Her name is Chua Xin-Ci.

Well to be honest i am quite glad that the robbers cum rapists did not achieve their "KPI" on that day.

If not, she would not be able to use the experience gained from the terrifying ordeal to good use today by developing a smartphone application for personal safety.

An APP called - “Watch Over Me”

To summarize the function of this app, The user should register an event and set the time frame to complete the "event". If the user don't “check-in” within a certain time period, a message will be sent out to emergency contact numbers while the camera and voice recorder will be activated automatically and stored in servers.

Take an example.

If your girlfriend wanted to take her car in the mall, she should register the event, and set an estimated timeline (like say, ten min**)  to walk to the car. Then, she can assign you as the "watcher" (which can be assign via phone book contacts) for that period of time.

** Provided there were no Vincci, Mango, Charles & Keith store along the way to the car park, it is all about estimation only.

Within the stipulated time, if she does not tap the "check in safely button" (Or she is in Vincci trying out shoes) an alert will be sent via sms to the assign emergency contact and this should be treated as an alarming situation. Call the police, search that area, whatever, as this application is equipped with a GPS tracking system.

I guess this application is more convenient that the "My Distress" application which requires the user to unlock the phone, press in the passcode, go into "My Distress" and push the distress button.

By the time the police came, my arse would be in distress liao.

So i downloaded it out of curiosity.

Well too bad everytime i download an application, 80% of the time i would be spending on trying to mess around with it.

I am sorry, Xin-Ci.

So here we go.

 

1. I registered and event. "Shitting in toilet". For five minutes.

So that somebody out there can watch out for me.

Just in case i clipped my balls with the toilet seat while poo-poo-ing.

2. Then, the clock would start ticking away.

(I guess if i came out from the toilet unscatched, i should be tapping the "Tap here to confirm safety" button, am i right?)

Or if anything happened within that 4 minute time frame, i still can tap the brown button to activate an emergency alarm.

3. So, if i clipped my balls with the toilet seat, the first message will be sent to my emergency contacts. By clicking on the link, you will be able to check out my location.

4. So, somebody should be able to alert the authority and initiate the rescue mission.

Simple to use, and it comes free without any charges.

This application can be downloaded via the Apple Store.

So my rating for this application?

1. User friendly?- 9/10
2. Layout and Design? - 8/10
3. Dollar value? - 10/10 (You can get it for free)
4. Ball clipped by toilet seats while shitting? - 15/10. (Only happens to you, morons!)

But remember one thing. If you want to fool around with this application, do not:

Registering and event that sounds like this "I am going to check in a brothel tonight"

And then subsequently save your mother in law as your emergency contact.

That would be a very stupid thing to do, ok?

Life is like "Chor Dai Dee"

During the eve of Chinese New Year, apart from the food fiesta and the fireworks, one of the most exciting moment will be the gambling session.

 

Or so the chinese people used to say "Hoi-toi" (Open table).

 

                                     

 

One of the most popular game will be the "chor dai dee". For those of your who have never played this game before, the easiest way to describe this game is to compare it with the game of "Black Jack".

 

(If you don't even know what a black jack is, then either you are not a chinese or your armpit hair has yet to grow)

 

In black jack, what you need is luck.

 

However in "chor dai dee", not only that you need luck. Without prior planning and strategy, you may ended up like this.

 



 

I would not dwell too much on how the game is played.

 

Because i am not going to start a gambling class here and having my ass ended up in kajang prison.

 

Funnily though, during the course of the game, somehow i got enlightened.

 

Something like "Eureka!!"

 

"Chor Dai Dee" is a game of life. What i meant here is it it just like our life.

 

In our life, we worried about money.

 

 

 

 

We worried about our enemy in office/competitors in businesses.

 

 

 

 

We worried about workloads that drives us nuts. 

 

 

 

Worried about love at times.

 

 

You see, we worried about basically everything. In the game of chor dai dee also, we worried about the cards we had, how we going to kick the shit our of our opponents and etc and etc.

 

Worrying is something, but not doing something about it is more worrying.

 

As i said earlier on, without planning and strategy in this game, it is as good as leaving your money on the table and just walk away.

 

Even if it means you have a handful of "dee" (the card with a higher face value such as "Ace" and "Dee" - 2).

 

Same thing goes in life.

 

I used to have this habit of collecting succesful people's autobiography. They came from all walks of life and excelled, be it in sports or businesses.

 

However one thing's common with every single one of them. They say, with all their hard work and perserverance, it still does not guarantee you success.

 

It also means you have to "grab your opportunity" whenever it comes banging on your door.

 

You should know when to hold, when need to push. Same thing in the game, it is all about the hardworks, perserverance and timing is just as important.

 

But if you just sit there doing nothing and waiting for miracles to happen, then good luck to you.

 

Last but not least, with all my hard works and my never-say-die attitude, this is what i won from a two hour session of chor dai dee during chinese new year.

 

Nah.

 

 

 

 

 

Still better compared to working in starbucks for two hours, right?

 

Happy Valentine's Day!

Come the month of February every year, for people like us who were attached (the non-single one) will all have the same kind of face expression.

For the ladies.

 

 

As for the guys.



I know, i know. It looks a little bit retard.

Or maybe i was just over exaggerating. But honestly, you may asked yourself while looking at the photos.

The scariest part is? It looks too good to be true right?

That is why i am always against those ladies who used to lament all her life that man and woman shall be treated equal.

Well, in politics, yes. In workplace? I have no objection.

But during valentine's day? fark you.

This is the day where every guy will start to fall into the microscope of their other half. From the way you plan the dinner, number of roses you can afford, and the best restaurants you could find.

The world will never be fair you see.

Happy Valentine's day.

For this year my valentine's day was spent all alone. (No, not that i was single but so happened that she has to go Bangkok with her family).

There are good and bad/pros and cons whenever the girlfriends/wife is not around with you during this very special day.

The good thing is you don't have to:

1. Fight for a place in a nice and cosy restaurant with overpriced menu and deal with the overwhelming crowds.

2. The expensive roses bouquet, which can create a hole in your wallet and yet still gonna end up in the dustbin in less than one month later.

The best thing of all?

3. I could go bonkers all the way without getting my ass kung-fu-ed.

Well thats what i did and i still feel a little hangover while writing this post.

So how did you guys spent your Valentine's day?



 

It is my First Time

From my point of view, chinese style wedding ceremony = Loud and noisy.

In chinese tradition, when you get married to somebody you are supposed to "fetch" your bride from her home, to the new home that both will spend their rest of their life in it.

In other words that us, the chinese people always use, "to kidnap/rob your bride".

My recent uni-friend had just tied the knot with his girlfriend recently. 6 months before, he has invited all his buddies, including me to be part of the "heng dai/brothers" team for the "kidnapping" event.

Well it is definitely my first time.

It is not because i am an ars*hol*. It is just that whenever my buddies got married, i would always "missing in action" for some reasons, sick, outstation, missed my alarm clock, whatever.

I used to get a lot of sticks for this, and my bunch of close friends even threatened that they would boycott my wedding in the future if this continues to happen.

So this time i vowed to myself that i will definitely turn up this time, no matter what. I was so excited that i woke up so early and arrived his place at 6.30 am (3 hours of sleep the previous night), only to find out that i am the first to arrive with no other friends in sight.

Normally there would be one old nanny who will be the "leader", organizing everything from what you should put on your car, what time leaving from house, what to do and when to do it kind of stuffs.

Based on her instructions, there we go!

When reached the bride's home, we are supposed to pressed our honk as loudly and frequently as possible. Mind you this would be the only day in your life you won't get killed for doing that.

After parked our car, we saw the "sisters" were waiting for us. Well, i am not too aware or anxious of what would happened to us. I am more interested in checking out which "sister" is hot. (LOL).

Anyway, what happened next is history.

But i am lucky in the sense that i only have to went through "eating the bananas + wasabi from another male's body"and honestly that's fine with me.

Some of my friends have to endured the pain of getting their body hair waxed off. God blessed them.

But if that means what we gonna went through so long that our brother can get his bride, the pain was all worth it.

At the end of the day, my buddy got his bride and since the wedding dinner would be held at night, we headed home to have a rest.

This can be tiring, but fun at the same time.

Well, that's my first time.

So who's next?

 

 

(When i am too busy)

Now only irealized that i have not update my blog for the past two weeks...

 

 

Paiseh ar...

Currumbin Wildlife Sanctuary

When i travel, i love to take pictures.

Especially those funny and weird ones.

Like this.

Welcome to the Wildlife Currumbin Sanctuary.

Before we embarked on our journey to Australia, one of the most exciting prospect is to be able to meet up with Mr. and Mrs. Kangaroo.

After hours of researching on the internet, we decided to pay the currumbin wildlife a visit. I can't really recall the price though, but it is quite affordable, around AUD50 per adult if i can remember correctly.

Like i said, take a bus. We arrived at 10.30 in the morning, and the crowd was still manageable.

As the first timers, we were confused about where to start.

So we decided to follow the crowd and we ended up at a small "train station".

I was quite dissapointed at first, how on earth i could get near to the Mr. and Mrs Kangaroo if our movement were only limited on the train?

I have been dreaming about feeding them with my bare hands for the past one year and all i got is just a glimpse of the animal from a bloody train?


Apparently it was not.

In this place, a timetable was laid out to every visitor.

Time to feed the bird. Time to watch the snake show. All you need is just shut up, board the train and go with the flow.

Something funny caught my eyes when i boarded the train.

"DO NOT JUMP OFF MOVING TRAIN".

Bloody hell, it WARNED ME NOT TO JUMP OFF THE TRAIN!

I felt like James Bond.

Just imagine that i saw a crocs, and i got excited, jump off the train, wrestle with the crocs, and come back on to the train unscatched.

Sounds cool though.

And you know it is special when Air Asia also occupy one of the advertistment board in the park.

I felt so much closer to home now.
Oh ya btw, thank for the cramp seat on for the 8 hours flight journey en route to Gold Coast.

The first stop.

Snake show.

Eh sorry.

Should be this one.

They talked about snakes, about their venoms, and heck, even let the visitors to pose with the snakes.

Although i scared like sh*t, i still managed to hold my nerves and took a photos with the snakes around my neck.

But thanks to my photographer for that day, the quality of the photo was just so....

The evidence to my man-hood-ness.

(Just because got pretty girl around, that's why i have no choice but to show that i got balls)

Then, the crocodile introductory show.

Too bad, the place was so crowded with people that i only managed to take the pictures of the presenter only.

But that's not important.

All of us have seen a crocodile before, at least once in real life. Malaysia also got ma...

But how many of you dare to say you have wrestled a crocodile before?

I bet none of you.

But i did. I really did.

I swear to god.

Nah, there you go.

But the climax of the whole visit was not the snake, not the crocodile, also not the pretty girl.

This is it.

Mission accomplished.

I felt like i could go back to Malaysia anytime by now.

I was warned before hand not to pat the kangaroos on their head. I don't know why. Maybe if i started to pat their head, they will start to kick my ass.

Anyone who have watched the Animal Planet show on Astro would know that Kangaroo has a pair of very powerful leg, that could kick your a** and send you into the moon.

So i better not try that.

The Koalas.

Since the photography session hugging a Koala would cost AUD 20++ per person, this is the best shot i could get.

Thanks to the 3.16 exchange rate. FML.

My second koala bear.

Everyone say hi to Renny:)

(Don't even ask, of course she is my girlfriend, tak kan my mum?).

Well, my job here is not to tell you each and every details of this visit.

Because i really believe that you should go and experience it yourself.

That's all for now for the Wildlife Currumbin Sanctuary.

From the man who have just wrestled the crocs. (I shouldn't be alive).



 

A day in Surfer's Paradise

When talking about Australia, people will start to think about Kangaroo.

Ah..and the "nude beaches". (I think most of my pals think about the latter one).

I remembered before i departed to Gold Coast, people used to asked me is there any particular place i would really love to visit?

I told them. "The great ocean road. I hope i can get a chance to visit there".

The next thing i know each and every one of them started to laugh as if there's no tommorrow.
So i decided to find out.

There you go. I almost shove my pretty face into the toilet bowl when i saw that. (1,792km).

No wonder they all laugh like monkey.

First time to Australia ma...niama...

People talked about Surfer's paradise, but i don't really surf. I can't consider myself as the pretty beach boy with tanned skin and well tone-body.

If i surf, it would look like this.

But i can't take the risk telling people i did not visit the surfer's paradise when i am in Gold Coast.

It is like telling people you go to KL but never being to KLCC.

Like going to sarawak but never try their "kolok mee".

Also like having a damn gorgeous naked lady in front of you, and you ended up helping her putting back on her clothes.

So i decided to pay this place a visit.

Cos i love bitches.

Sorry beaches.

As i have told in my earlier post, you can get to Surfer's Paradise by bus. Something interesting happened during one of my conversation to the bus driver.

Me: "Hey Mike! (Everyone's a "Mike" in Australia). Just let me know if we have reached the surfer's will yeah?"

The bus driver: "No worries mate, you will know it by yourself when we got there alrite?"

How true it was. When we reach, without looking at the signboard we already knew we were there. Surfers with their surfing gear on, ther hawaiian-style of shorts, bikini-cladded ladies were everywhere.

But i didn't see the beach!?

Oh ok, i need to walk further in. So here i am, welcome to the Surfer's Paradise!

Posing on the sand.

Posing in the seawater.

Then back on the land again.

For this particular place, you don't have to pay a single cent. But it is still a must go place in Gold Coast.

Never did i saw such a big wave in my life before and yet i felt so calm about it. Just by listening to the sounds of the wave really helped me relaxed during that evening.

That's what we called life isn't it?

But where are those surfers? Maybe i have came at the wrong timing of the year. The weather just too cold to even have a dip in the sea water. But where did all the surfers i saw just now?

Sod it.

One of my favourite picture.

Hmm.:)

There's nothing much you can do here, unless you like swimming, surfing, sunbathing and etc.

Since i do not want to be a shark's favourite dinner plate for that day, i decided to roam around the streets and guess what, we saw this.

Not sure if it is called the Eye on Gold Coast or stuff like that, but what i knew was i must get a ride on one of those. It is my first time anyway!

The price? A hefty AUD 11 per adult.

It sounds expensive to me because to be honest, the view from the ferris wheel is not as jaw dropping as i thought it would be.

All i can see is buildings, buildings and buildings again.

So, think twice before you pay.

I will update about other places (This time, you need to pay for it) that i have visited throughout my trip in Gold Coast, Australia.

Last but not least,

Let me show you the most "Australian" way of saying "See you again".

* The Itchy Itchy way..