Why i hate to do medical check up @ SJMC

A friend of mine just received a job offer from a multinational company recently.


Same like everyone else, she will need to undergo a thorough medical check up, just to make sure that she posses a pair of "balls" so huge that she is able to withstand the enormous work pressures and abuse.



Well, it reminds me of the day before i join the current company. Same like her, i was requested to undergo a medical check up in Subang Jaya Medical Centre (SJMC), which is one of the company flagship medical centre.

Everything went well on the first day of the checkup. An X-ray to check if my lungs is functioning like an aircond filter, an eyesight test to ensure that i can stalk a girl easily as far as 4 kilometers away, a blood test to ensure my body is not running on engine lube oil, lastly an urine test to make sure that, well, it doesn't taste salty.

So i went home as a happy man as i have been "undressed" and "poked" by the gorgeous nurses all day long. Next, the result is awaiting.

After couple of days...

(Phone ringing)


Me: Hello?

She: Hello. Is this Mr. Wong?

Me: Yes i am. May i know who is this? (Not another farking credit card promotion?)

She: I am calling from SJMC, and would like to request you to come back for a re-test based on your last medical checkup result.

Me: Is there any problem with my test? (Shit, die liao this time. SJMC won't call for nothing)

She: Yeah, well..we have noticed that you have suffered from some kind of Urinal Tract Infection.

As i have almost never heard anything of this before, my mind went blank and my palm got sweaty for a little while. The next thing i knew i asked her this.

Me: So, am i going to die? (Dead serious)

She: Ha Ha Ha...No-lah sir, it is just normal and happening to everyone, and very common

disease happening to a LADY.

(What the F??? Ladies??? And why one earth it is happening to me? And she still can laugh like-dat??)

She: Just drink more water and take some antibiotics before you come for the second medical check up. Thats all you need to do. Thank you!


CCB.


I think during the 2nd medical check up, i will wear something like this.

"Doctor..i think i am confused with my gender now. I am a guy, i am not supposed to have UTI..."

(While pulling up my skirts and show him my two hairy balls)

In Memory of 9-11

September 11th, year of 2001.

For the 102 minutes on that very fateful day, the world watched in horror as two planes crashed in the the iconic twin tower of the New York city.

Fast forward to ten years later, people in the United States, particularly those who has lost their families and friends in that tragic terrorist attack are still living under the shadow of the loss of their loved ones.


I remembered that on that very morning, i just woke up from bed and saw my Indian classmate cum housemate (i was a university student back then) flipping over the newspaper, which is something unusual for him to do on such an early morning.
(Normally he would be still sleeping by then).

"A plane has just crashed into the World Trade Center". He said.

As i was still sleepy at that time, i did not give much thought on the issue. Well, shit happens everyday.

How wrong i was. It was not until i watched the news on tv did i just realized the scale of the tragedy. Something that i thought would just have happened in action movies only. It is not only A PLANE. It is TWO.

Well, the country where i have stay is half the globe away from the New York city. Well, I did not lose any of my loved one in the tragedy for which i thank god for that. Nor do i suffer any injuries or post trauma symptoms from the tragedy.

But somehow, i realized one thing that ever since the terrorist put their plane through the twin skyscraper, my view on the religion has changed 180 degrees.

On one particular occasion i read that the NYPD detective, on one of these trips down to the World Trade Centre telling his stories. . . "there's a little kid around and he's got this sign and the sign says 'please find my daddy'. And we realised what we were there for." My heart sank. A kid just lost his daddy, killed by the so called "The warrior of god". Aren't religion supposed to teach us good things? Like when people slapped you right cheek, offer your left one, something like that?

That Tuesday, 3,052 children lost a parent in the terrorist attacks. The average age was 9. Some of them not even bid the last goodbye to their parents.

As for the surviving victims and eye-witnesses:

"I have a hard time watching a plane fly overhead without mentally seeing it blow up," wrote Vicky Radke Duran, who has taken just one flight the past ten years - and only for a family emergency.

“Time is passing. Yet, for the United States of America, there will be no forgetting September the 11th. We will remember every rescuer who died in honor. We will remember every family that lives in grief. We will remember the fire and ash, the last phone calls, the funerals of the children. “- President George W. Bush

"All of a sudden there were people screaming. I saw people jumping out of the building. Their arms were flailing. I stopped taking pictures and started crying." --Michael Walters, a free-lance photo journalist in Manhattan.

It was a total heartbreaking moment. What has gone wrong? 19 of the terrorists who plotted the attacked proudly claimed themselves are Muslim. Almost instantly, the religion has to be part of this unforgiven act and under scrutiny of the public eyes.


Everybody entitled to their right to choose and believe in their own choice of religion. Be it Islamic, Christianity, Buddhism, Tao-ism, Hinduism or even Juda-ism etc. Well you see, i am a Christian, but mainly on paper. Which means i don't really attend church activities or read my bibles every night before going into sleep. When people started to talked about those Mary, Theresa, and Jesus kind of stories, i can assure you that i will looked like an some stray cat losing my way home.

I know, It is a shame. But i have always have this impression that religion are supposed to be preserved, educated and passed down in such a way that it maintain the harmony relationship among humanity, regardless of skin colours and religions. Not KILLING each other.

Ever since 9-11, the world has made known to the word of "Jihad" - or Holy War in western communities. This word, appeared in the Quran for 41 times.

The term 'jihad' has accrued both violent and non-violent meanings. It can simply mean striving to live a moral and virtuous life, spreading and defending Islam as well as fighting injustice and oppression, among other things.

But for the terrorists of 9-11, it means "Let's fly a plane, and kill those american bast*rds".

Now, the 10th anniversary of the Sept 11 is just around the corner. Sincerely, i would like to take this chance to offer my hug and moral support to all those people who has lost their families and loved one, regardless of your country of origin, your religion, your language, or your skin colour.

No amount of tears will bring your loved one back to your side, but their soul will always be with you. Let us hope this tragedy will not only be the first, but also the last one ever happen in the history of human mankind.

For you who have read this, let us take a moment of silence..

and pray for those who perished in the tragedy, and for a better world tommorrow.

That is the least we can do.

Apart from undressing him and humiliate him in the public.

Ipad and iphone, what's the difference?

When i told my friends that i have bought an ipad, their instant reaction:

"What's the difference between an ipad with an iphone? It is a waste of money isn't it?"

To me, it sounds like an insult.

It is as if they are trying to tell me:

"You this little dumb-ass must be having your brain built-in to your arse for buying that ipad"

In summary, to some extent, yes, ipad is just a bigger version of iphone minus the capability to call. In Indian community it also means: "well, woo-kei...it is the same, but not exactly the same" (while shaking head in motion)

Nowadays from the internet search, you can get a lot of informations on differences between those two.

But being a not-so tech savvy person, i will tell you the difference between an ipad and an iphone in a lay-man term:

1. Having an ipad, obviously (pun intended) is like having a lover with category "D" size of breast compared to a wife with a wife with an "A". (Well, ipad has a much bigger reading screen, and well, we guy absolutely loves "BIG" things).

2. Ipad has a bigger battery which come with a longer net-surfing time, for example. Imagine that you have a boyfriend who last for 5 minutes and a boyfriend who can last for 25 minutes in bed, which one do you prefer? Well, girls, your face expression now has given me that answer. hm...

3. In Apple's technology, Ipad came much later than the very first iphone. So, old wife or new girlfriend, choose one you moron. (Applicable for guys only)

4. It is 0.5mm thinner compared to the iphone 4. Slimmer girlfriend? You bet.

5. The largest flash memory storage in an ipad is 64GB, while iphone is only 32 GB at most.

It is bigger. Again.

But to be fair, i wouldn't be writing this if not because of the insults and criticsm that i have received ever since the day i grabbed the ipad2. With respect to iphone, there is one thing that the ipad cannot do which is making calls.

After all, you are not going to bring that big fat screen to your ear to answer phone calls right?

And it is such an obvious way to offend the traffic police everywhere if you use it to make calls while driving. It is as if you are asking them to go "Hey look at me!! I don't care ar, i still gonna answer the phone while driving ar, you "blow" me mer?"

So, i like Ipad ar..choi mer? I will still buy it even if they name it as i-tampon.

Well, what do you think?

The birthday & the Ipad2

As an engineer, we were taught to solve, at times, unimaginable problems you could imagine.

Somehow, we are as useless as an empty toilet roll while we shat ourselves in the toilet when it comes to the question:

What to buy for your loved one for her birthday. Shoes? She has too many. Bags? Forget about it unless it is LV or Burberry endorsed. Anything other than that, is rubbish.

After many months (After the due date of her birthday) of wandering hopelessly in the malls, getting awestrucked with the pricetags of things nowadays, i decided to "kamikaze".

An ipad2. 32 GB c/w Wifi and 3G.

I am not a rich freak and obviously, the price tag freaked me out totally.

I used to be a guy who are used to complain about the RM2 parking tickets. Yet now i am forking out RM 2.2 k for my girlfriend's birthday present?

I can pay two and a half months of installment on my current house for that freaking price!

(Steve job, "nei hou yeh" - kind of like "you are bastard" in cantonese, in a sacarstic way)

No wonder people say, love is great, and love is blind.

Now i wish i am blind when my next credit card bill is coming.

(My dear, if you happened to read this out of the blue, i just want you to know that you totally deserved this new toy for all the efforts you have put in to love such a weirdo like me. This article only served to entertain the other blog readers, with no intention of pulling the present back to a pawn shop :P).

I know it is a bit too late, but anyway, Happy belated birthday.

Oh ya, time for nasi putih and ikan masin for dinner tonight.