Just too free...

12.16 midnight...still a lot to go....

i am dead...

Travelling fever is back...

While lying comfortably on my bed one fine night, something crept upon my mind.
I felt like going for travelling again.

Everytime i have this kind of thought, normally it means that my brain ask me to stop working and tune into the holidaying mood.

For me, financial constraints and times will always be the factor that determine where i go.
But, my main principle, not going to visit the same place for twice.

Because to me, it is about learning about new places and their culture. Their way of living eventually.

Also an opportunity for me to do something which i don't have the chance (or time) to do in my own country.

Like when...

1. Party to the wee hours (Also my first clubbing experience) in Cebu, Phillipines.

2. Scuba-diving in Bali, Indonesia.

3. Enjoying fresh brew of German Beer in Ho Chi Minh, Vietnam.

4. And grabbing people's boob on a street full of people, Patong, Phuket.

Hopefully i can plan out somewhere new in the next couple of weeks, then, see if any of my friends wana join in?

Me & the Touch and Go...

Recently out of the blue, managed to keep in touch back with a girl who, i would say, we have had a "short-term" relationship before.

It is not easy, as girl tend to prefer not to keep in touch back with the guy they hated before.

After a while, all of a sudden she told me something like this.

"You know, for me you're really like a touch and go type of guy".

I couldn't agree less. It was exactly the "me" at that time. A guy without a single care in the world.

But somehow, I think i am actually more like a "smart tag" guy before...




Not even need to unwind the window. Just display, "teet" and go...

Maybe PLUS need me to become their ambassador?

But always remember that, beyond any touch and go booth, there will always be a 2 metre barrier rod which may hit urself one day...

God think i must be crazy

Recently out of the blue, i am thinking of trying my luck on photoshopping. Actually have been kinda interested in this application, but the amount of job piling over my office desk means i am not allowed to explore it anyhow.

People created beautiful pictures using photoshop.

And me? An octopus which looked kinda relaxing now, since the world cup has over.

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F**king hell, don't laugh! I am just the beginner!!

Dedicate to a special friend..

This may be a boring subject to some people. But i don't care. I still wanted to post this.

Decision-making has always being part and parcel of our life. And it create dilemmas.
Dilemma is not scary, but sometimes it is enough to create some unpleasant feeling within us as a human being with emotions.

Fearing of making the wrong choices at times.

For me there will never be a right or wrong choices. Only good and bad decisions. As long as once you have made it, don’t look back, and never ever try to feel regret of making the decisions in the first place you will be ok.

Take an example, especially in a relationship. I have had my fair share of dilemmas in making some of the decision almost one year ago.
There were times when you looked back and asked yourself. Did I make the wrong decision? Is there anything else I could do at that particular time to revive this relationship?

If I did not choose to let go that time, will we get married happily and have children by now?
Will she be the right one?

If me and her has never knew each other, would it be a different ending altogether?
Even Paul, the octopus would not dare to make the decision for me.
Because I believe Paul do have feelings too. He knows football, and he knows about love too. (At least I prefer to believe it)

But let’s look at thing from a different perspective. It is because sometimes it is the uncertainty that makes love and relationship so unpredictable, mysterious, yet at the same time, you are obsessed with it.
Like beer and liquor, you know it is bitter. You know you are going to have a major hangover the next day. You know you are going to vomit anyhow. But still, you gulped it down like a bottle of mineral water.

Most important is, at least for me is you should be happy at what you have now. Take a quote form the movie “21” – Yesterday will always remained as history, and tomorrow always a mystery.

If you don’t know (or rather do not want) to decide, let me tell you one thing for sure. Be it a good or bad decision, few years from now, you should be looking back at those memories with no regrets.
Just treat it as one of the chapter in your book of life.
That is the reason why people love movies with mixed emotions and happenings. And ended up with an unpredictable outcome.

Unlike Indian movies, you know the Hero will never die.

(This post is specially dedicated to one of my close friend who is quite in a dilemma now, F. I am not an expert in relationship, but at least You know you’ll never walk alone, and hopefully one day when you have recovered, you will realized that sometimes beautiful moments doesn’t meant to last forever. But certainly, it left footprints behind over the years. And by that time, hopefully you will read back on that chapter of your life with a big smile on your face. Regrets doesnt destroy you, but certainly takes away part of your precious moment in your life.)

For the "potential" ifeel girl

You know, there will be times when your ideas ran dry. It is common for everyone, from movie director John Woo to the beginner of blogging world like me.
But somehow, occasionally, ideas do came by without warning. A simple conversations or gesture, or even when a dog walked past in front of you, may resulted in the idea for you to write a story.

Like today evening, I got a call from one friend whom I have known for years. Whose dream is to become the next Amber Chia or Carmen Soo. Immediately i felt like as if it was a god’s calling for me to write about it.
(I even resist to go toilet to sh*t just because I worried I may lose my inspritaion)

You know, belittling a person capability is not my style. But I just couldn’t resist to co called “voice out my opinion” when she told me she wanted to join a beauty contest and ask me to check details for her.

I bet most of you guys have seen a model before. FHM’s “Girl next door” is not bad either. All those girl, I would say, majority, came by with electrifying look, a good EQ, and at least, a real tempting figure.

OK, last year her application is not successful (which I am not too surprise). But what irritate me is, she should have known her level. Being confident may be a plus point, but overconfidence does not guarantee good marks in the judges eyes.

Most guys may be envy me for being able to “give advise” to the “potential” ifeel girl contest. But have you guys ever met a girl, like say, from the very first sight, you know she is not gonna make it.

Looks-wise, average. Make-up, measured in inches. Breast of 28 yrs old with a mindset of a 8 years old.

Talked too much, (to be exact, too much craps), anticipating she will win it even before qualify for the contest, jumping here and there like she never grew up, it summarize everything.

But with the help of good photographers, and probably some photoshop-ing, I would reckon that Milo or Proton advertisement board can apply still.

My goodness, how to tell her the truth that she can stop dreaming?

Is like telling Osama Bin Laden stop bombing America because Allah love the US citizen.

Like Telling Bill Clinton not to screw Hillary because he is gonna be elected in the next presidential election.

God please help me.

If_Else of Marriage (Flowchart version)

Special thanks to one of the reader, Mr. Jo. As someone who has vast experience in SAP user-support field, he created a work flow chart for my If_Else of Marriage theory.
Maybe he is just too free, I wouldn’t know. But bet he can be a real good consultant be it in SAP environment, or how to get laid.

To Jo, cheers buddy.

IF_Else logic of marriage

I am 28 this year, and it has been a norm that people ask me when I want to settle down and get married. It seems like inevitable for people who are close to their 30’s to get married, and have kids.

What is marriage anyway? And most commonly, what is love?

For me it is just a simple “If Else” kind of logic.

It is actually a very simple process. Let’s try this.

(Choose either situation No.1 or No.2)

1. Fall in love at the very first sight of the person. (Go to no.3)

2. Fall in love at the first sight of the breast of the girl. (Go to no.4)

3. Started to ask her out on movie dates and dinner. (If she says yes, proceed to No.4, if no, proceed to no.6)

4. Started to ask her have drinks at your place, claiming that you are a good chef and will prepare a romantic candle light dinner. (If yes, go to no.7, if she rejects, go to no.6)

5. Routine of dinners and movies date. Get laid after n-th time of date? (Yes= Go to no.7 No=Go to No.6)

6. Try again? (Yes go to No.3, No go to No.10)

7. Get Laid. Any protection in place? (Yes = Go to no.8, No=Go to No.11)

8. Enjoy it? (Yes = No. 11, No= No.9)

9. Never see her again. (Go to No.10, you have no other choice)

10. Give up, be a bachelor again. Get a new date or consider for cosmetic surgery.

11. Married. (Live happily ever after)

Summary:

Before you get laid, when girl asked you a bombastic question like, do you like me just because of who i am or anything else. (You know what she means).

All you have to answer is: “Baby, no matter how, eventually we are gonna end up married anyway. So just shut up and work.”

No offense. This is just for laughs. (Doesn’t woman like humorous man, who can make them laugh?)

DHL also gone world cup crazy...

This morning when i called DHL to request for pick up in my office, something funny happened.

(Calling DHL)

DHL: Hello good morning. My name is ABC, how can i assist you?

Since i have been calling them many time, as usual i will be giving them the account reference number first, to avoid been asked too many questions.

Me: Let me give you my acc no..5500...

Before i could finish.

DHL: Isit 5500-XX-XXX?

(Which is the correct no.)

Me: How come you know my acc no? By listening to my voice??

DHL: I know la, i m Paul the octopus ma...

I was stunned for a few seconds before both of us burst into laugther.

This is how exactly a two different people, who never met before, can have a light session over football matters.

So, still think that football is a lame 22-people ball chasing game?

Puyol and the Wildboar

Quoted by Spanish Midfielder (Ex-Liverpool player), heaping praise on his teammate Carles Puyol who scored the winner in 2-1 win over Germany.

"There were ten minutes in which we were playing on the edge of the area but could not score and in the end Puyol has come like a wild boar and scored."

Wildboar?

Puyol: WTF???

Paul the great

During the world cup season, people are talking about Klose with his shattered dream.

How Rooney fluffed his chances to shine in South Africa.

How on earth Argentina could be slaughtered by the Germans with four goals to nil.

For me, it is boring and meaningless.

I am more interested in this "guy".

Mr. Paul.

For those who are clueless, this is the explanation.

Paul is famous in Germany for predicting most of Germany's results right. He has predicted five games correct so far for them on their World Cup path.
To predict the winner, two boxes are placed in front of him. He then opens up one of the boxes, and most of the time, it ends up the winning team.

It is worth to put a few “squids” on Spain recently as Paul predicted Spain will emerged as winner in the Spain-Germany semifinals. (It happens to be the correct prediction as Spain won 1-0)

So, Mr. Paul could ended up like this.

Accompany by German Beer.

And him as the appetizer.

Given any chance, I would love to have Mr. Paul by my side.

He can help me to decide my future wife.

Eh, How do people know if the octopus is a "male"?

Make no mistakes. I am gonna name my first son Paul.

Paul Wong.

BP Oil Spill Video

For those who have been following the news on tv and newspapers, will definitely heard of the BP oil spill incident happened recently in the gulf of Mexico.

Not only the incident has resulted in a very negative impact on the image of BP Oil.

Some people even take a mickey out of it.

I stumbled upon this cracking video a few days ago, after reading about it on The Star newspaper.

(You see, i love reading newspapers).

It is not one of the funniest video of all time, but definitely one of my favourite collection.



I was wondering how Tony Hayward would react if he has seen this video.

wtf????

Sensational Goal Celebrations

As a striker, your key KPI will always be goal, goal and goalssss.

The feeling of seeing the ball in the back of the net is not something you can describe.

Lets decide which one will be your favourite of all times.



The one player shaking all his teammate's hand make me laugh the hardest.

How Chinaman Bid for Projects in Malaysia

To: CEO of XXXX Group of Companies

Email: abcd@xyzcorp.com

Dear Taiko,

Subject: Reka, bina & “Menten” Istana Negara.
___________________________________________________________________

Hi kawan!!! New project coming out aarh? I think I can give you very good price one. Bagi saya bikin la ok?

800 Juta 10% komisyen kasi sama lu. Lu dan gua tarak kira punya lah!! Kawan Kawan ma. Business ada, untung sama-sama lo. Hehehehe.

Itu bid document nanti saya suruh saya punya boy hantar u punya opis. The price if not good you kasi tau sama saya la.

Eh itu Simmi vuvuvelu ada in-charge ini project ka? Kalau ada kasi tau sama saya. Itu hari gua kasi tau itu jambatan tarak boleh tahan. Dia kata “tak apa ah nei..itu jambatan kalu sulah runtuh, pilihanraya pun sulah lepas lo”.

Tengok apa sudah jadi? Tarak percaya sama gua dia itu. Dia punya kepala manyak besar tapi otak kicik serupa katak bawah tempurung. (BM saya bagus eh?)

U confident dengan gua, I bina istana tarak runtuh punya. Itu bisi dan kayu top quality banyak bagus, Made in China punya. No pro-be-lem.

Okla YB, lain kali kita pigi minum lepas lu balik dari sembahyang. Nak minum sampai subuh pun ok.

Take k!

Then Reply from the “Unknown YB”

To: Toh Kok King

Email: tokoking@yahoo.com

Dear Sir,

RE: Reka, bina & “Menten” Istana Negara.
___________________________________________________________________

My Bank Acc = 1234567890. Start Work tommorrow.

Regards,
YB

How Project Manager Write a Love Letter

To: (Whomever it may concern)

First and foremost, I would like to thank you for the love and joy provided to me during the three-month’s stint with you as your BSP (Boyfriend Service Provider).

Rest assured, I would like to reinstate my commitment of my love to you will never end until the end of warranty period. I would like to give you the assurance that upon the expiry period of our relationship, I will be giving you the continuous support on the after sales of "Physical" services for free around the clock.

I, as the service provider, is a widely experienced contractor in the field of the following project for the past 27 years:

1. Rejuvenation of 1st Time Feeling
2. Love Making & Manufacturing.
3. Dating Rotation Machine.
4. Lovers Trading & Services.
5. Transportation & Logistic (Dating Venue) Services

Reference list will be provided upon request.

However, in lieu of the interest of my company, upon the end of the warranty period, every service, as abovementioned (Apart from Physical Services) will be chargeable at a very reasonable rate. (Depending on the date of carrying out the services, whether is early or end of the month).

Please refer to Terms and Condition as enclosed herewith for your kind reference.

Should you have any problems, please do not hesitate to contact the undersigned.

Yours Truly,
CEO of DH (D**kHead)’s Group of Companies.

“We deliver only No.1 Services to your Doorstep”